A Call For Submission: Flash Writing Contest

The end of the summer is near. Women on Writing is asking for writers to join in on some end of summer fun. Send in your best Flash Fiction story for a chance to win prizes and get noticed.

 

SUMMER 2014 FLASH FICTION CONTEST

OVERVIEW:

WOW! hosts a (quarterly) writing contest every three months. The mission of this contest is to inspire creativity, communication, and well-rewarded recognition to contestants. The contest is open globally; age is of no matter; and entries must be in English. We are open to all styles of writing, although we do encourage you to take a close look at our guest judge for the season (upper right hand corner) if you are serious about winning. We love creativity, originality, and light-hearted reads. That’s not to say that our guest judge will feel the same… so go wild! Express yourself, and most of all, let’s have some fun! Read more here!

 

English Is Fun – Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Fun!

I received a really fun email today and I thought it was worthy of sharing. The English language can be really confusing with all the words we use that have dual meanings. Check it out and let me know your thoughts.

You think English is easy???     Read to the end . . . a new twist
 
1)  The bandage was wound  around the wound.  

2)  The farm was used to produce  produce.
 
 3)  The dump was so full that it had to refuse more  refuse.
 
 4)  We must  polish  the Polish furniture.
 
 5)  He could lead  if he would get the lead  out.
 
 6)  The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
 
7)  Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present  the present .  

8) A bass was  painted on the head of the bass  drum.
 
 9)  When shot at, the dove dove  into the bushes.
 
 10)  I did not object  to the object.

11)  The insurance was invalid  for the invalid. 

 12)  There was a row  among the  oarsmen about how to row.  
 
 13)  They were too close  to the door to close  it.
 
 14)  The buck does funny  things when the does  are  present.
 
 15)  A seamstress and a sewer  fell down into  a sewer  line.
 
 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
 
17) The wind was too  strong to wind the  sail.
 
 18)  Upon seeing the tear  in the painting I shed a tear.
 
19)  I had to subject  the subject to a series  of tests.
 
 20)  How can I intimate this  to my most intimate  friend?  
 

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.  There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
 English muffins weren’t invented in England  or French fries in France.  Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We  take English for granted.
 But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly,  boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor  is it a pig.
 
 And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t  groce and hammers don’t ham?  If the plural of tooth is teeth, why  isn’t the plural of booth, beeth?  One goose, 2 geese.  So one  moose, 2 meese?  One index, 2 indices?  Doesn’t it seem crazy  that you can make amends but not one amend?  If you have a bunch of  odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
 
 If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?  If a vegetarian  eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?  Sometimes I think all  the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally  insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?   Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?  Have noses that run  and feet that smell?
 
 How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a  wise guy are opposites?  You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a  language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you  fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going  on.  
 
 English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the  creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.   That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the  lights are out, they are invisible.
 
 
 PS. – Why doesn’t ‘Buick’ rhyme with ‘quick’?
 
You lovers of the English language might enjoy this:

 There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is ‘UP.’

It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic  come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

 We call UP our friends. And we use it to  brighten UP a room, polish UP the  silver; we warm UP the leftovers and  clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.  At other times the little word has real special meaning.  People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.  To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.  We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

 We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!  To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.  In a desk sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.  If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.  It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.  When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.  Then the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

 When it doesn’t rain for a while, things dry UP.

 One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so.it is time to shut UP.

 Oh, one more thing.

 What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night?  U-P

Hello world!

Welcome to my corner of the world. Here I can feel free to talk about anything and share everything. As an aspiring writer I will have tips and information for parents and other writers like me.